Caroline - Her humanity + Alcohol = Badass and Hilarious…
I mean, I love the normal Caroline. She’s my favorite and I want her back. But, it’s a nice change of pace to see one of our vamps without their humanity. Is it bad that I like the no humanity side to these characters a lot?! Like remember 70s-punk Damon and Rippah!Stefan…
Except for the fact that Caroline turned off her humanity before Stefan could tell her he loved her…Arrrgghhh. We almost had Steroline.
Caroline: “Liam, the boy I totally forgot existed!”
Is that meta? Because it feels meta. Seriously, did anyone actually like or remember that Liam guy? Boring.
Did she just kill him?!?!
So, chronologically, if Bonnie came back the night before, aka the Bamon reunion hugging scene, and she JUST now, the morning after, revealed that she was back to Elena…Does that mean she and Damon hung-out and had a best friends sleepover?
(I’m accepting it as canon.)
Kai: “Feelings are hard.”
Are Kai and Damon becoming friends now? Because I like this unholy, diabolical duo.
Damon is in total denial about his mom being alive in a prison world andpossibly being a vampire, so he decides to dig up her grave only to discover that her coffin has been empty the whole time. Anyone getting serious S1-Katherine’s-tomb-‘She’s not here!’ flashbacks?! Think about it: a woman he loved, who is still alive, and isn’t who he thought she was after over 100 years…
Ugh…Enzo is still stalking Sarah Salvatore. Not this again…
Why did Bonnie jump at the sound of the champagne bottle popping? Is it because she’s so use to silence and being alone? Is it PTSD from all the dying and not-dying and trauma over the years, from not only Kai but just in general? Also, is she an alcoholic now? Dang, poor Bon-Bon. Hang in there, lovely.
Elena to Bonnie: “You were stuck there all by yourself. While we were here living our lives. And this is the worst toast ever…”
Yes, yes it is, Elena. Also, stop pretending like you were actively trying to get her back or caring about Bonnie at all. Because the only one who seemed to be doing that was Damon. And heck, even Kai was helping out with his magic when he became all non-psycho. You were off taking magical, hallucination herbs and planning birthday parties where the guest of honor couldn’t even attend.
No happy, hugging Caroline/Bonnie reunion because Caroline flipped the humanity switch!! Dang it, Caroline!!!
Although, I have to say, Caroline showed her true colors by not killing Liam and saying she’s giving herself a one-year deadline before she turns the switch back on. She has always had incredible self-control, resolve, and compassion. Not even taking away her humanity can take those things away from her. There’s a little bit of our girl still in there. She’ll be back soon.
Caroline to Liam [in flashback]: “You got blood on my necklace!”
Caroline to Bonnie/Elena: “If anyone tries to get me to flip my switch back on, I’ll become their worst nightmare…I’m gonna get a latte.”
Awwww, Kai wants to apologize to Bonnie. Kai, I love you more and more with each passing episode.
Sarah: What are you?
Enzo: I’m a vampire.
Hold up. No. I did not sign up for shoddy, Twilight writing, Vampire Diaries. You’re better than that. Twilight blows. Please never do that again.
Stefan was all jealous when Liam was talking about Caroline…Adorable.
“Do you wanna go to a rave?”
Rave!Caroline is the BEST Caroline!
That Damon/Bonnie phone call! They were getting all flirty and they miss each other and they are friends. And Damon was protective of her when Kai insisted he wanted to see her and Damon said no…I’M SO HAPPY! Yay Bamon!
Stefan FINALLY told Caroline that he likes her and they were SO cutesy together at the rave…And then she ran away. Noooooo!!!
Kai’s apology to Bonnie…
Poor Bonnie. That place changed her. She’s so messed up and has some serious PTSD…
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Damon, I know you wanted to learn about your mama, but Kai was the last thing Bonnie needs right now. You knew that! Use your head!
Bonnie and Damon were becoming the best of friends and now she hates him and doesn’t want to be around him…Why would you do this, TVD writers? Why?!?
Caroline to Elena: “I compelled a student to perform surgery on Stefan’s niece. And you find a way to make this about you? You are good.”
It’s probably not gonna happen, but can you imagine Stefan and Caroline flipping the switch…together. They’d make such a badass, crazy, dynamic duo…
MAMA SALVATORE IS A VAMPIRE?!?!? AND NOT ONLY A VAMPIRE, BUT A RIPPER!?!?! A RIPPER WHO WAS SO BAD THAT A COVEN OF WITCHES LOCKED HER IN A PRISON WORLD!?!?
Well, I guess that explains where Stefan got his ripping tendencies from.
Poor Damon. He lost Bon-Bon and the image of his wonderful mother has been tainted now that he knows who she really is. And he can’t even talk to Stefan about it because he’s trying to preserve little Stefan’s memories of her.
OH MY GOD!!!! HE ACTUALLY DID IT?!?! STEFAN SHUT IT OFF!!!
I know I should be horrified, but, I actually LOVE Ripper Stefan. And, rest assured, the Stefan we all know and love will find his way back to us. So, for now let’s just enjoy snarky, funny, no humanity Stefan.
AND we get The Hilarious, Sassy, INSANE Adventures of Rippah!Stefan and No-Humanity!Caroline!!
Side Note: Can Stefan sipping that margarita be the new Kermit tea-sipping meme? PLEASE?!?!
Damn! That was one of the BEST TVD episodes we’ve had in a while! So action packed! Very nostalgic Season 1-3 TVD. Just like the good ol’ days. Also, congrats to Director Somerhalder!
Until next time, my little vampcakes.