Uncle Jonny Stew’s Good Time Syria Jamboree

Wow! America taking military action against a Middle East regime…it’s like I never left.

So what has brought the President to this decision?

(clip of Former President George W. Bush justifying war in Iraq)

That’s, no, that’s actually the wrong president and a different country.

(clip of Former President George Bush Sr. discussing Kuwait and the Persian Gulf War)

OK, that is the same country and family, but that is a different war.

(clip from the movie Independence Day)

Alright, that’s a fictional President and, to be fair, that war was pretty justified.

…Now, if memory serves 100,000 Syrians have already died in the conflict…already with no military intervention from the West.

(Discusses US involvement with owning chemical warfare and condoning it’s use with Iraq)

…So, given the fact that we have no idea who would have control over these weapons in a failed Syria…remind us again WHY we have to do this?

(clips of government officials and newscasters saying that if we don’t do something in Syria we face a “danger” of looking “weak”)

Oh, that’s right, we have to bomb Syria because WE’RE IN 7TH GRADE!

Why does holding back look like a sign of weakness? Isn’t it a sign of maturity?!

…You know what else is a sign of weakness? Asking advice from the same Parade of Idiots who got the same issue completely wrong in Iraq. Or as those people are known on cable….experts.

(clips of…experts)

HEY EVERYBODY! The Idiot Parade Is In Town!!!

Assad has crossed the line of what we feel is the appropriate way to kill people. So, we have to send a powerful message to the world…Chemical weapons will not be tolerated!

(clip of President Obama justifying Syria)

You’re saying the only way to keep America’s penis from looking small, is to take a somewhat ineffective action purposefully designed to accomplish very little?

We’ll call it: Operation ‘Just the Tip”

Couldn’t have said it better myself Jon…