The Guide to SuperBowl Commercials 2013: Who Scored and Who Didn't Make the Cut?

So every year the SuperBowl roles around, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m not extremely into football.  My great love usually comes in the form of watching halftime show entertainment and new commercials. 

First, of all Destiny’s Child has returned and I feel as if we’ve been transported back to the 90s…Reliving my childhood!! Obsessed!!

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Secondly, Beyonce knocked it out!!!! Figuratively…and this year…quite literally.  She literally knocked the power out!

Ok…so it wasn’t because of Beyonce, but I do believe Sasha Fierce was behind it all.  Either that or the stadium blew a fuse because Beyonce was too Bootylicious for it to handle!!

But, anyways onto more pressing matters.  Here is my top best and worst of the SuperBowl 2013 commercials…with my commentary to boot!!

WINNER FOR BEST ADVERTISEMENT:

Oreo Blackout Advertisement-

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The absolute winner of the evening was Oreo who stole the show during the Superbowl Blackout of 2013 in a spur of the moment advertising opportunity.  (They also scored with their Oreo Whisper War commercial…continuing the age old fights of crème vs. cookie, twist/lick vs. bite) Described by many as “Marketing at the Speed of Light (…or rather lack thereof),” the branding and marketing teams quickly came up with and tweeted out an image rendering and campaign slogan that read, “You can still dunk in the dark.”

ABSOLUTE GENIUS!

TOP BEST:

Budweiser Clydesdale-

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Just like every year, Budweiser provides a heart-warming tale of a young colt who grows up to earn the job of Clydesdale Budweiser horse. Only this time, the owner and his horse bonded over time and were split apart, only to reunite at a parade a year or so later. 

**Is it just me or does this ad apply mostly to women’s emotions, or anyone who perhaps has more than one Pinterest board containing cute animals…not really appealing to their normal male demographic, but a nice change to the constantly male dominating/sports/overbearing themes of other commercials

**Is this considered horse slavery?

**Epitome of…If you love something, set it free.

**Touching…and Stevie Nicks…Good Job Budweiser!

Audi Prom-

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Probably my favorite ad behind Oreo…

Simple. Mediocre guy doesn’t get asked to prom.  Decides to go alone.  His dad tells him to take the car and “have fun”! All of a sudden, this kid’s inner, rebel-demon comes alive.  He is blinded by bravery and proceeds to drag race limos, park in the principal’s spot, kiss the Prom Queen, get punched out by the Prom King and speed off into the night.

**Why did you use that particular actor kid in the commercial? He was fairly good looking, so why would he be the dork that doesn’t get asked to prom. I’d ask him.

That’s like when the OC cast Adam Brody as the “nerd” of the group…Yeah…right…Adam Brody, a nerd? More like an extremely foxy nerd.

**I’m pretty sure you would have been pulled over by the cops for speeding or your car would have been towed from the principal’s spot

**I don’t care how much bravery your Audi gives you.  No guy I’ve ever met would ever have the cajones to walk up to a girl he likes, expose his true feelings and kiss her in front of everyone he knows…But, I guess in regards to the story line…he was a “dork” so he really had nothing to lose.

**Audi, you are projecting to a limited audience with this ad.  Think of it this way.  Our car is hip and young…for cool teens and 20 somethings.  Oh, but I’m sorry the only way you could ever drive one is if you borrowed it from your dad.  Let’s face it Audi’s are not in the price range of an 18 year old that works at the Dairy Queen.  So, the people who could afford it who are older are made to feel like they are not the demographic for the ad because only the younger scene can unleash the full potential of the car.  If you’re a parent, you’d probably be thinking while watching…”Oh, if I owned an expensive car like that, I’d never let my kid drive it, they’d go crazy.”

**On the whole I put in my best category because it purely exemplifies the theme of unbridled freedom synonymous with Audi car and how you want to feel driving a car in general.  The car makes you feel alive and young and rebellious.  The commercial clearly conveys this in a humorous way.

Best Buy Amy Poehler-

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Best Buy employee stumbles upon Amy Poehler and asks, “Do you have any questions?”  Amy decides to take his question extremely literal and ask him every question that comes into her mind…no filter.  From, innuendo-filled and sexual suggestive jokes, to “What’s LTE? Is it contagious?”

**The first two things that crossed my mind were:

1.  Celebrity product placement…like that hasn’t been done before AND

2.  Oh Amy Poehler, you’re so unique, quirky and awesome…your talents are destined for greater than a 2 minute Best Buy ad!

**Despite this, I did actually like this commercial.  The Best Buy employee in it was smiling and courteous, answering all of Amy’s ridiculous questions no matter how crazy.  I don’t know about anyone else, but every time I’ve walked into a Best Buy their employees have the “customer service” part of their job training down pat (at least that is true with my location).  I felt like the employee’s helpfulness was true to real life.  It made sense with the services Best Buy offers (at least they didn’t put break-dancing hamsters in a car commercial *coughKIASOULcough*).  And it tickle my funny bone…Well done, Best Buy.

Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen Samsung Galaxy-

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Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen both hired to promote the Samsung phones, are brought in to discuss marketing ideas and funny advertisements.  Then, they are replaced by LeBron James.

 **WOW…I’m assuming you spent a s***-ton of money to have Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, and LeBron James in your advertisement…

**Sorry Samsung Galaxy no matter how many celebrities and funny commercials you make I will not buy your stupid phone.  It still does not have the quality and longevity of Apple products.

You know why Apple doesn’t fail at commercials because they don’t feel the need to throw money at a tanking product…The star of the show in their advertisements is the iPhone…

Even when the likes of Martin Scorsese and Zooey Deschanel are in their commercials…the iPhone still steals the show.  It is now synonymous as a necessity in everyday life…Apple makes you want it because it appeals to everyday people and shows how extremely accessible it is and handy in life.

**But, Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen made me laugh…So kudos

…I’m still not buying your phone though…

Willem Dafoe Mercedes Ad-

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Man faces the devil (played by Willem Dafoe) and is given the option to sell his soul for all the riches of life.  He realizes he can afford a Mercedes, and passes.

**”Willem Dafoe better watch out or he’s going to get typecast as ‘that creepy guy’”

**Willem Dafoe is a badass…and I totally thought he was gonna’ go all “AVENGE ME!!!!” Spiderman on the human/mortal in the commercial

**Funny, dangerous vibe

**Bada** concept of selling your soul to the devil mixed with the fast-paced mysterious air of a Mercedes

**Pretty good, Mercedes.

God Made a Farmer Ram Dodge-

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2 minutes of a Paul Harvey speech overlaying images of farmer culture supported by the product Dodge Ram trucks.

**Fairly long, mini-movie…prolific

**This commercial brings in a powerful Paul Harvey speech, but I wonder if this reference, meant to stir feelings of nostalgia, is just that…a cheap ploy to appeal to our desire for things of the past…it doesn’t actually refer to the product’s involvement to the past and the role of Dodge in the lives of people

**It narrows the targeted audience down to farmers…I’m sure more than just farmers use and buy Dodge trucks…Makes the buyer wonder, is this a special truck for farmers?

**For some reason after seeing this all I could think was the quote from Mean Girls, “And on the third day, God made the Remington bolt-action rifle so man could fight the dinosaurs.”

**It was quite artful, and evocative…the photography was beautiful and speech obviously epic…Nice.

WINNER FOR WORST ADVERTISEMENT:

Go Daddy- Bar Refaeli Kisses a Nerd-

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**This was the most gross and off putting ad I’ve ever seen.  Even when you turn your head, it still doesn’t go away! The horrid sound effect noises! ICK!

**I have never liked the Go Daddy commercials and their blatant denigration of women…Nor do I like NASCAR and Danica Patrick, the spokeswoman who proliferates the degradation of women…evident in her past commercials for the site…

TOP WORST:

Taco Bell- Elderly Live Mas-

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**I guess this commercial is not so bad…

**Confusing and unrealistic

**The elderly wouldn’t do that…nor do they have the bowels capable of handling Taco Bell’s food…I don’t even think I have the bowels for it.

**The Spanish version of F.U.N.’s “We Are Young” is jarring and unsettling.

**Did they pay F.U.N. for the rights to their song even though it was in Spanish?

**Yes. We are going to sing in authentic Espanol because we, Taco Bell, already offer such authentic Mexican food products to our customers…HAHA

Subway- FebruANY-

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**Confusing?

**Why is this funny?

**This campaign name is dumb…if you can’t pronounce it…I mean…just no.

**I have nothing further to say…It was that stupid

Wonderful Pistachios Get Crackin’ Gangnam Style-

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**Psy dancing and singing his song while cracking nuts.

**No…just no.  This song wasn’t great to begin with.

**It seems Psy is soaking up the last paychecks of his 15 minutes of fame…enjoy it while you can, man, because that ship has just drawn anchor, and set sail to “One Hit Wonder Isle”

E-trade Baby-

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**It’s not so much that this ad is bad, it’s just it was only funny the first two years they ran it…after that it lost momentum. 

**And I agree with Joel McHale…Considering how long these commercials have been airing, shouldn’t this baby be old enough to talk by himself and not have to use an fake, animated mouth

 Get Happy Jamaican Volkswagen-

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**Was that a Jamaican accent they kept doing?

**I thought Volkswagen was a German company, why are they doing Jamaican accents?

**Hey VW Bug, 1970s called they want their Bob Marley impressions back!

**Overall the people in the commercial talked way to loud and were rather annoying…To the VW marketing department…have you ever heard of less is more?  Come on guys…“Think Small” (original Volkswagen slogan)

Well, there you have it.  The best and worst commercials from SuperBowl 2013!  

Here’s hoping the losers go home to lick their wounds and try harder next year.

And to the winners…Congrats!! Now go celebrate, and find yourself a nice pile of confetti!

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